Innovation Avoider Gifts

Larry hadn't measured himself against real market needs for many years - and wasn't about to start now.

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

I.T. Fear

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

"Tarzan no want computer."

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

"My kid could have done that with AI."

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"He's our new trend-spotter?"

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."

"Isn't technology great? A drone dog walker."

"I'll go on a cruise, but not if I'm forced to learn things."

'I'm going to prescribe for you to stay away from the news on TV and all social media!'

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

The rise of nano-technologies.

'Very cool. What else can it do?'

"I want to vacation where we can look at something scenic from some place climate-controlled."

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."

'It kills production when we have to stop the line every thirty minutes for an upgrade.'

"Yes Dad! I can see the ground way way down below very clearly! It's not unrelated to my reluctance to try flying!"

"They hired a cat to distract them from thoughts of change."

'It isn't that we don't have high technology. We don't have any technology.'

"To give it credibility let's tell the boss we stole our business idea from the Japanese instead of thinking it up ourselves!"

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'