Innocent Observer Gifts

'Hey Billy, looks like you picked up a hobo somewhere along the way.'

'Mum.' - 'What?' - 'Why are buses so slow?' - 'I don't know, sweetheart.' - 'Is it because poor people are fat?' - 'Gah.'

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

The Adventures of God

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

"Of course I attend the meetings but I'm more of a lurker,"

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

Chess on TV

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

There are planets where lifeforms are almost human...

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

Bizarre sights.

The whole ambience of the research trip was ruined by Harold's squeaky boots!

"Sorry—our counter is reserved for lone dudes staring at their phones in silence."

'Let's arbitrate.'

'Pardon me. Can you tell me where 9 West 57th is?'

'It's quiet... Too quiet.'

Minimalism exhibition...

Hello- I'm a Wreck.

The Star Gazer

'Yeah, neighborhood crime. That's what I watch all the time 'cause our TV is broken.'

It was a tough case. Plenty of witnesses, but no one was talking.

Introvert Career Faire.

"Okay, your story checks out. You're not a Peeping Tom, you're just a creepy real estate appraiser."

'The problem with being a hermit crab is that I lack social skills...'

'Ok...I was wrong. Things can get worse.'

'I've just discovered that the only loop I'm in, is the one I just got thrown for...'

"Oh, don't mind him. He comes here to get warmed over."

Tarot Lying