Omniscient Observer Gifts

The Adventures of God

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

Magic Act

"Of course I attend the meetings but I'm more of a lurker,"

Crisis.

There are planets where lifeforms are almost human...

Astronaut Selfie.

Fortunes. Tarot. Palms. You punched the fortune teller just because he was smiling? I always wanted to strike a happy medium.

"Don't worry, Jules. It'll come up on your side of the house in just 12 hours."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

Bizarre sights.

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

The whole ambience of the research trip was ruined by Harold's squeaky boots!

Voyeurs guide to the Cosmos (stars in the shape of a sexy woman).

Atlas juggling with the moon.

God's Fly Swat...

Oculist.

'It's quiet... Too quiet.'

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

Astronomical observations.

Man covering one eye looking at the moon.

"After I had my eyes lasered, the people down there stopped looking like ants. Plump, furry and delicious little rodents, yes, but not ants!"

It was a tough case. Plenty of witnesses, but no one was talking.

Introvert Career Faire.

'It's a comet . . . It's a big rock on your head.'

"You don't gasp at my miracles anymore."

"Omniscient?? - I think you're confusing me with google. . .!"

"Being transferred to days isn't a promotion for an astronomer, you idiot!"