Insightful-observer Gifts

'Everything you say subtracts from the sum of human knowledge.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

"Tinnitus?"

The Three Kinds of People

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

"Office of quality assurance"

AI Summit

'You cant do anything these days without someone suspecting your motives. . . there is only one way out. . . inaction.'

Holding the Line Against Terrorists with Midrange IQs

'This breed can smell incompetence.'

Kangaroo with a smoking baby.

The Manipulation of Justice

'Let's arbitrate.'

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

"I suppose it should be enough that I heard it."

'Going bald isn't all bad - just think, you'll never have dandruff again!'

"Sometimes it's good to just pause and reflect on how obscenely rich we are."

'What part of 'nature' do you not get?'

"The meaning of life? To be honest, I haven't given it much thought."

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

Russian bombers in California

Minimalism exhibition...

"You've done some outstanding work in Public Relations, Benderman. Unfortunately, you work in Accounting.!

'The exercise hasn't been a total failure. My personal trainer lost 10 pounds.'

"Eight hours and still not a bird to be seen."

'Man, you are the first parole office to truly understand me.'

"Look! Another non regulated bank!"

"And then one day, I had this revelation: Why not go public with my non-profit business and start making some big bucks?"

Church Parking

'Yeah, neighborhood crime. That's what I watch all the time 'cause our TV is broken.'

'I don't know why other people pray in school, but I pray in school because I'm not supposed to.'

End of the Pier Show