Quiet Observer Gifts

A blank church notice board with church in background

Hello- I'm a Wreck.

"Sh-h-h-sitting very quietly is part of the pickling process."

'Charlie? He wouldn't say boo to a goose!'

"No, I refuse to guess."

Chess on TV

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

Hush puppy.

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

'Anorak anoraks'.

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"Sigh...Another sherry Harold...Go team ect."

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

"Of course I attend the meetings but I'm more of a lurker,"

'You cant do anything these days without someone suspecting your motives. . . there is only one way out. . . inaction.'

Fortunes. Tarot. Palms. You punched the fortune teller just because he was smiling? I always wanted to strike a happy medium.

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

"I just realized that unless I'm riding for some cause, I must look like an idiot."

'This breed can smell incompetence.'

Never being able to think of the right thing to say at the right time phobia.

"Don't look now, but in 3 seconds I want you to very nonchalantly look at my tail and tell me if it's wagging."

The whole ambience of the research trip was ruined by Harold's squeaky boots!

'Let's arbitrate.'

"I suppose it should be enough that I heard it."

This week we've explored what might happen if there were a military draft. Hear what I say: How many soldiers died today? Now back to our regular programming. My iPad's shiny. My oil stocks are soaring.

"Sure, I love the scent of a REAL tree, but nothing beats the convenience of ignoring the holidays altogether."

If a tweet is sent out and no one signs up to read it, does it exist? Happens millions of times a day.

'It's quiet... Too quiet.'

"Frankly, I could move a lot faster, but the truth is that I lack motivation..."