Inner Self-investigator Gifts

"OK we're all here. Let's synchronise our inner selves."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"Watch carefully...it hurts when I do this."

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

Man to date about many self-portraits on his wall: 'Self-realization is where I'm headed.'

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

"Adolescencia"

Psychology Clinic. Most potent example of solipsism I've ever seen --- he follows himself on Twitter.

I'd like a second opinion on your self-diagnosis - So a random guy from the waiting room is googling your symptoms.

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

Man looking down long telescope at himself.

"You need to get in touch with your inner tadpole."

"I've done a lot of soul searching, and I've come to the conclusion that I should be thinking less about money and more about naked women."

"...And, what might 'the road' represent?"

'I just feel so used all the time.'

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

After a lifetime of searching, Leonard finds himself.

"Papi! Papi! I figured it out! I know exactly what I'm gonna be when I grow up!"

'Our health plan consists of an hour of free web time to self-diagnose.'

Psychiatry. Why go on a voyage of self-discovery when I can just Google myself?

"Feeling like a skinny person living in a fat person's body is actually quite normal."

'Four out of five websites disagree with your diagnosis.'

Selfie-Conscious

"I'm trying to be myself and you're not helping."

'Being yourself is not helping this marriage, Jack.'

We made great progress today, but I think we need a few more sessions.