Inner Demon Tamer Pillows

"What if my inner demons want to write about bunnies?"

They hated me.

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Secretive Weigh In.

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

To do before Saturday...

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

Out of patience

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

The Terrible Forty-Twos

Education Guidance

'I'm just curious, which one of you was dropped off by their boyfriend on a really fast motorcycle?'

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"She does this when she's tired."

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

"So...what are you in for?"

"No screen time means more scream time."

'They should have extra-small thermometers for Yorkies, Doctor!'

You will do as I command...'It had a power surge.'

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

'OK, Connor. Tell me about this big, scary monster that you feel is under your bed at night.'

"You'll have one bite of everything!"

"Kid, I'm begging you, please stop farting."

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

"Of course you feel great. These things are loaded with antidepressants."

'Watch this... I have him trained to give me a treat every time I shake his hand.'

"Sealed for your diets protection."