Inner Voice Tamer Pillows

Maybe you have cancer. - 'Why would I have cancer?' - 'Why would you not have cancer?' - 'I don't know.' - 'Maybe I have cancer.' - '' -

They hated me.

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

Getting Rid of the Cure

'He left for the office in a bit of a temper!'

"What if my inner demons want to write about bunnies?"

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

'I told you he had a temper.'

"I've got a lap dog and a laptop cat."

"Kid, I'm begging you, please stop farting."

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

"You'll be on the road most days, but when you do come in, this will be your docking station."

"Listen to your inner voice...unless it tells you not to listen to me."

"I haven't seen you look at your me-phone for five whole minutes. What gives?"

'I've gone from spanning the globe at lightening speed to struggling with some techie's accent over a bad connection.'

"Hello? IT support? I think my hard drive is fragmented."

Next Year's Postal Service Marketing Campaign.

Wal Max - Complaints Department

Computer Time Bomb.

'It must be nice having a job where you can work at home.'

'On','Off', and 'Maybe' switches.

'I'm beginning to think email stands for 'endless mail'.'

'What do you mean, you were here first?'

"I'm so relieved to have ended up down here rather than up there, I can't stand heights!"