Injury Jokester Gifts

Don't tell me, you want another sick note!

Virtual Doctor

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

Cardiologist Henry Weil like to add some levity before surgery by hiding a whoopee cushion on the operating table.

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

Basketball injuries.

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

Quick! 5-second rule!

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

"Guilty times infinity."

Patient charts

"Hey Frank, how was your colonoscopy?" "In and out."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mister Kane...You've got 'Shingles'.'

Small Clams Court

"It's weeder's elbow."

Gang of Musicians

"I'm not really a doctor. I'm a placebo."

'One of the side effects of this medication is it gives people the urge to operate heavy machinery.'

I swear to tell the truth, but not solemnly.

!. Exclamation point overrulled.

'How's the new pacemaker.'

Shoplifter behind a barcode.