Info-dieter Gifts

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Critisize your weight.

Secretive Weigh In.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Diet considerations.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

Man with a pizza in 'Lover's Lane.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

"No matter how much gelato, pizza and tiramisu I eat, I gain weight. This Mediterranean diet just isn't working."

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"...there, I found it. Stellar! I love this nutrition app!"

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

Attack of the 'health' foods

"Frankly, dear, I think you've been on this paleo diet much too long!"

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

"Hmm...any dietary restrictions?"