Infielder Ponderer Gifts

How to think and act like a professional cricketer.

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Shakespeare was bisexual

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'How come, unlike some other bosses, you never surprise me with little promotions?'

"Firing is too good for you, Mike. I'm going to give you MY job instead!"

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'Contested elections for managing partner are always going to cause a bit of upset.'

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

'U.S. Manufacturing'

"Hey, Brian. I can't make it to the park today, but I'll be there in spirit."

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

'Are you sure its a purbred?'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

Fish Food

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

'I have problems following my wife's plot lines.'

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'

"The ladder comes in due time, but for now, be satisfied with the corporate step stool."

'I bark, therefore I am.'

"The good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team!...and the bad news? You are the team!"

"Good news, Spreadbury - you're to become the executive plaything."

'We take pride in the fact that all of our managers are recruited directly from our front-line office staff!'

Lonely at the top, OK, but not looney.

"They had to make that it guy the CEO. He won't reveal the Master Password."

'He's a stock market 'buzzard'? -- what does that mean?', 'He eats the dead bulls and bears.'

Hmmm... what's my real purpose? Why am I here? - 'Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Let me guess!' - 'Go on, then.' - 'Is your life a homage mediocrity?' - 'Ouch.' - 'Quizzes are fun! Ask me more!' -

"We're not so different, you and I."

VAR - a nail in the football coffin...