Infielder Ponderer Gifts

How to think and act like a professional cricketer.

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Shakespeare was bisexual

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'How come, unlike some other bosses, you never surprise me with little promotions?'

"Firing is too good for you, Mike. I'm going to give you MY job instead!"

'Contested elections for managing partner are always going to cause a bit of upset.'

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

'U.S. Manufacturing'

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

"Hey, Brian. I can't make it to the park today, but I'll be there in spirit."

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

"How'd it happen?

'Are you sure its a purbred?'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

Fish Food

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

'I have problems following my wife's plot lines.'

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

"The ladder comes in due time, but for now, be satisfied with the corporate step stool."

'I bark, therefore I am.'

"The good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team!...and the bad news? You are the team!"

School of Music. If you need perseverance to be a musician, what's all this I hear about unfinished symphonies?

Hmmm... what's my real purpose? Why am I here? - 'Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Let me guess!' - 'Go on, then.' - 'Is your life a homage mediocrity?' - 'Ouch.' - 'Quizzes are fun! Ask me more!' -

"Good news, Spreadbury - you're to become the executive plaything."

'He's a stock market 'buzzard'? -- what does that mean?', 'He eats the dead bulls and bears.'

"We're not so different, you and I."

Lonely at the top, OK, but not looney.

'We take pride in the fact that all of our managers are recruited directly from our front-line office staff!'

"They had to make that it guy the CEO. He won't reveal the Master Password."