Premier League Ponderer Gifts

VAR - a nail in the football coffin...

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Shakespeare was bisexual

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'How come, unlike some other bosses, you never surprise me with little promotions?'

"Firing is too good for you, Mike. I'm going to give you MY job instead!"

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'Contested elections for managing partner are always going to cause a bit of upset.'

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

'U.S. Manufacturing'

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

"I'll have to cance your appointment for next Friday. I'm going to be sick in bed with the flu."

Biden Workload

'Today, stocks dropped on poll numbers that 60% of people expected it to drop.'

"Who has the most power... the president or his wife?"

"The problem is: reasonable men may differ on what the hell reason is!"

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

'Are you sure its a purbred?'

'The shrink said my holiday was hereditary - my family.'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

'I have problems following my wife's plot lines.'

Parson wishing to seem as though he is not drinking

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'

"The ladder comes in due time, but for now, be satisfied with the corporate step stool."

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

"Beats me - I've never dealt with a sovereign debt crisis before."

"The good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team!...and the bad news? You are the team!"

School of Music. If you need perseverance to be a musician, what's all this I hear about unfinished symphonies?

Hmmm... what's my real purpose? Why am I here? - 'Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Let me guess!' - 'Go on, then.' - 'Is your life a homage mediocrity?' - 'Ouch.' - 'Quizzes are fun! Ask me more!' -

Lonely at the top, OK, but not looney.

"Good news, Spreadbury - you're to become the executive plaything."