Infectious Comedian Gifts

Protoxoan social distancing.

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

Comicron

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

"Dammit Harold, you know I hate that mask!"

Aladdin conjures up a virtual genie.

'Could you stay out of the room for awhile, Nurse? -- Every time you walk in here, his testosterone levels surge.'

They're behind me aren't they?

Tin Can Operation.

"This mask is a bit of a passion killer. . . !"

Attack Of The Guy From The Other Room

"Look, look … someone wrote unoperable."

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

"Any improvement since I brought the balloon?"

Surgery Instructions.

"That's a semi-private room for you. You caught his, and he caught yours."

"No wonder I'm getting feedback!"

"I hope your cast is not itchy, Stacy. I had an itchy cast on my arm once and it itched ALL the time. It felt like crawling ants! Itchy, itchy, itchy..."

"You are going home to Quarantine? What a lovely name for a daughter!"

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

'Is it bad news, doctor?'

'He said, but for you he wouldn't have stuck your credit card to the roof of his mouth in the first place...'

Covid Babies

Hand Sanitizer: Please Be Considerate To Your Fellow Evolvers

'I want to biopsy that growth, Mr. Johnson. I don't like the looks of it.'

"... No, it's not true that you can't eat anything after surgery - you can have lots of choices, like ice chips in a cup, ice chips in a bowl, ice chips a la ice..."

Now sanitize the lamp and yell your wishes.

"Got it!"

Your body initially rejected the new kidney, but after we pumped you full of liquor, your body found the new kidney kind of attractive. We'll see what happens in the morning, though.

The Lone Ranger at Home

"I've lost my voice. Is it contagious?"