Infectious Comedian T-Shirts

Protoxoan social distancing.

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

Comicron

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

"Dammit Harold, you know I hate that mask!"

'Could you stay out of the room for awhile, Nurse? -- Every time you walk in here, his testosterone levels surge.'

They're behind me aren't they?

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

"This mask is a bit of a passion killer. . . !"

Tin Can Operation.

Attack Of The Guy From The Other Room

"Look, look … someone wrote unoperable."

"Any improvement since I brought the balloon?"

Surgery Instructions.

"You are going home to Quarantine? What a lovely name for a daughter!"

"I hope your cast is not itchy, Stacy. I had an itchy cast on my arm once and it itched ALL the time. It felt like crawling ants! Itchy, itchy, itchy..."

"That's a semi-private room for you. You caught his, and he caught yours."

"No wonder I'm getting feedback!"

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

Covid Babies

'Is it bad news, doctor?'

'He said, but for you he wouldn't have stuck your credit card to the roof of his mouth in the first place...'

'I want to biopsy that growth, Mr. Johnson. I don't like the looks of it.'

"... No, it's not true that you can't eat anything after surgery - you can have lots of choices, like ice chips in a cup, ice chips in a bowl, ice chips a la ice..."

"Got it!"

"I've lost my voice. Is it contagious?"

"I'm glad you've been able to find new hires, but that's not what I meant when I said that we have a radiologist shortage to deal with."