Contagion Humorist Gifts

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

"Mom, please shake my chair. I'm taking a virtual school bus ride before class begins."

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

Distance to avoid contagion

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

Comicron

Lend me your ears

The Official Covid-19 Diet

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

"Dammit Harold, you know I hate that mask!"

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

"Any chance of upping the affection quota, given the current situation?"

The Organic

"I find wearing a mask helps."

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

"This mask is a bit of a passion killer. . . !"

Start of school year in Cuba 1

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

The trap

Decontamination

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

"Yeah, don't worry about the smile; I'll just wing it."

I break for toilet paper

Team medic spraying deodorant

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

"Well at least nobody notices we don't go out much anymore."

Heathrow New Variants Arrivals Lounge

Do what you can to flatten the curve

Baseball player wearing a face mask.