Inertia Perfectionist Gifts

'I am not doing nothing... I am perfecting inertia.'

Bullseye!

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

'Aren't you glad we brought our putters, too?'

Golf lessons

'Not that slowly back...'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

Man looking at watch while a cuckoo comes out of his head

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Man and woman buying furniture.

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

'Am I the first one here?'

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

For sale - Used only Once.

"Always faithful to arrive early and, of course, get the dibs on the jelly doughnuts."

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'He's a real stickler for punctuality. He got really annoyed when I was late for an appointment, next week.'

'Don't ask me, I've never got one in a hole either.'

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"I propose we go with the second option."

'Do I take it that you will not be requiring my services on the back nine?'

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

We thought we'd put in the detail later.

A tailor measuring a jacket.

Kate had originally been very enthusiastic to prepare the annual global audit plan.

There are more things to life than golf--but I ignore them.

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

'Oh no. How are you going to get it out of that little hole?'

'On this hole you don't drive, just putt.'

'Whenever Ralph finds a golf ball he puts it in the basement.'