Industry Spokesperson Gifts

'Poo, I say to global warming! Poo! Poo!'

'How fast can you hype?'

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

"National security adviser"

Changing Minds

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

Lord Avariss - Captain of Industry

'I had to give a short speech last night. It was a hoot!'

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

'We're out of duct tape.'

A boy and his spin patrol.

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."

Tata: Goodbuy or Goodbye?

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

"I don't think of it as an environmental disaster, I think of it as inventing extinct animals."

Culture, Media and Sport Podium.

NDAs for non VIPs

"Has our apologist been alerted?"

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

'In the modern world manufacturing takes place in China. Most R&D is one in South Korea and support and logistics is based in India.'

Businessman's schedule full of confrontations.

Company spokespersons statement being interpreted into plane English by a second spokesman.

Where Are They Now?

These remarks are completely off the record

'So how did Hakeem take it when you told him we'd be paying him in footwear instead of cash this year, for being our spokesman?'

Big oil.

"I think he said he doesn't want to be your press secretary any more."

"That's a very good question, which is why we're going to move on to the next question."

'Hopkins, I want you to write me an inspiring, dynamic speech that bears my unmistakable stamp of genius.'

"Well, certainly his claim seems justified , but if we paid off every justified claim what kind of insurance company would we be?"

"I have a brief statement, a clarification, and two denials."