Indulgent Food Lover Gifts

"And it was at the moment I realized that the only thing holding me back from culinary excellence was a bucket-load of butter."

'Your French dip, sir.'

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

Make your resolutions achievable.

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

'Pepperoni: Muse of Pizza'

Woman thinking about luxuries.

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

A man and baby wearing bibs

"Only 35% CACAO? I'll have to eat TWICE as much then!"

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'Therapy?'

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

'You may well have eaten fresher fish before but not in this restaurant. . .'

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

If traffic signs were used in everyday life...

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

I always forget - is it white with dry food and red with wet food, or the other way around?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

In Case of Emergency: Dark Chocolate

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"Get the meat loaf—I hit it out of the park today."

"George often brings his work home with him."

"Gucci Firenze 1921"