Indiana Jones Fan Gifts

Harrison Ford, no question. Tom Selleck, without a doubt. I don't care if they did offer Selleck the role first, Ford was a much better "Indiana Jones." Ford was ok, but his character was less than manly. What are you talking about? That's ridiculous! Harrison Ford was the definition of eighties manliness! You're telling me the "definition of eighties manliness" could run around the world for weeks and months at a time ... and never once grow anything more than a little stubble? I think maybe yo

"You're like the grandpa I never had, Mort." "You never knew your grandpappy, Randy?" "Oh, no, I knew him. Grandpa Randy was an intrepid archaeologist who broke hearts and defeated villains all over the world." "‘Indiana Randy’s’ life story became the stuff of legend. They even made some movies based on his exploits." "I'm just saying you're nothing like him." "I was going to see those films back in the '80s, but the matinees were past my bedtime."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Jarvis Cocker

Hi, sweetie! How was the talent show? Did they enjoy your Clay Aiken tribute?

Chris Froome

'It's a new record, mom - there are six of us in here!'

Ernie, I hear you're an amateur botanist who believes some plants are baseball fans. Yes, ivy plants root for the Chicago Cubs and dream of being in Wrigley Field themselves on day. King Ferns are fans of the Kansas City Royals. Cattails follow the Detroit Tigers. And Redwood trees are huge supporters of their local team in San Francisco. That makes sense. Giants love the Giants! Redwood trees are the team's biggest fans!

'Yes?'

Morrissey

Sandwich Shop Sandiwched Between Skyscrapers

AD 763. Hopeful entrants in the first Easter Island Idol competition.

Charles Barkley

Follow up Hits to Pants on the Ground.

'Oh, I hate sport too, but I just love reading the statistics...'

"This is a truly international sporting event...no Britons involved whatsoever!"

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and you will never see him at work again."

Bumper Sticker Show Off.

J. Willems - batting champ, home run champ, tested negative for steroids.

"Well, you know what they say. . . every setback is like a new adventure."

'Into the final furlong and still 'Morning Star' holds the lead...'

We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news

Mom & Pop Shoppe: Going Out Of Business (Not that it's your fault).

I used to be a GP, but I wanted a job where I got more public support!

Punch Initials - P

'Perfect, Lance! You couldn't be preppier!'

Kobe Bryant

Joyeux Noel (Gallagher).

'Typical village match. He has his pads strapped to his wellies.'

'What sport are you pretending interest in this time?'

The Couch-a-thon.

"Rusty old carts, full cans of soda, little packets of nuts...MY GOD! Stanley, this must be the Forgotten Tomb of Inflight Service!"

'Mom' and 'Pop' box with the 'Super dooper Mega Stores'

Don Bradman