Incense Collector T-Shirts

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

Punt Cake

New Age Store.

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

Woman thinking about luxuries.

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

Relaxing in front of a fire.

The concert was going smoothly until Frankenstein's band played a ballad.

Old Spice

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

"Hoarder."

Old Book Smell

The Houseplant Cemetery.

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

Man guarding a written border.

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

"Do not, I repeat, do NOT light his candle."

Computer tech support sacred offering

"Of course it's not a mirage - mirages don't wear Chanel No 5."

Candlelight

Declaration of Independence. Legend has it that John Hancock signed his name extra large to annoy King George. The quill must have come from a mocking bird!

"In a Universe Light Years Away...Almost, son, but remember you have to light up all the people for your wish to come true."

"What pheromone are you using?"

"Your aunt wants to know what we're doing these days, so I'm sending her a picture of our fridge."

'Your pen is noiser than a sword.'

This cologne reminds my husband of our first kiss, years ago in the old copy room. It's eau de mimeograph.

'That bacon sarnie fragrance gets them every time!'

"Their chef makes an AMAZING hot sauce."

'This one will bring him to his knees. And this one will start the proposal.'

Canal No. 5: Vagrance

Man at important looking desk lined with quill pens gets ready to shoot one at a dartboard on his wall.

"You get your money back if your don't get laid in seven days."