Impossibility Ponderers Gifts

'Funny thing is, in an infinite universe with infinite possibilities, this is actually happening!'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

The Artist

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"I'm learning to live with existence."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

Ten Commandments

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

'Why can't we go on a field trip to heaven?

"Great, now we're lost."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

Bumper Limos

A psychic mows the lawn.

"Do you ever wonder what happens to us when we die?"

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

'I tell ya Frank, if we find one of these babies big enough, we could live forever!'

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

Existentialists In Love

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

"The arc of the moral universe."

"On the plus side, people seem happier to see me lately...."

'Not as easy as it looks?"

'Of course it's impossible. That's why we're here.'

"Nobody wants to hear our stories about death from natural causes."

'Have you ever thought that being damned for all eternity to a lake of eternal fire might mask a deeper problem?'

'You know what I really miss? -- living dangerously.'

'The rot set in when I started doing these things in my own image - my early stuff was better.'

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."