Impertinence Enthusiast Gifts

The Height of Impudence.

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

The Smell of Fear

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

Don't Take No For an Answer

"How come I can't remember what I forget, but I always remember that I forgot something!"

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'Melvin, you're trying my patience.'

Snail crossing

'I was going to leak this to wikileaks. Then I thought, why not write a 'tell all' book instead?'

Your DNA is in the database.

A courthouse that reads "Hey! Justice Truth Equality Liberty".

'I don't know how it's being done - but someone's finding out our secrets...'

"Come at me, Bro!"

"I have a high tolerance for tedium."

Parson wishing to seem as though he is not drinking

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

FBI, 'Things are slow, Bensonhurst -- let's investigate the CIA.'

Pretentious man reads Culture supplement, saying: 'I don't know much about art but I know what to pretend to like.'

Fishing Arizona- waiting for a flash flood

The bill for smelling the aroma from the kitchen... that'll be ten pounds.

'...Joseph A.Peabody seeks out devious methods to add new excitement to his life.'

"Whatever you do don't get onto the topic of his wacky socks."

"I told them I'd had ENOUGH, that I was worth more!"

'Ambiance or non-ambiance?'

When Jensen's job moved offshore, he decided to follow it...