Immigration Attorney Gifts

A missing brick in a wall reveals a man with a ladder.

"My immigration lawyer wasn't was good as I thought. He was deported."

Immigrating to the City

Education to the Rescue

Schengen

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

The fate of the emigrant

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

UK border controls relaxed.

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

I love Lawyers

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"