Immaturity Enthusiast Gifts

'It just so happens that I LIKE shows geared to a 12-year-old mentality!'

A midwife holding a baby

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

"They look so young and helpless."

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

Who's a cutey?

"Every time I tie my shoes, the laces come undone...I think it's a conspiracy!"

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

Midlife: You Are Here.

The end of innocence

'I knew the day would come when we'd regret moving next door to a genetic research facility.'

'Your imagination was so powerful he became real. It happens to me all the time.'

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child

Knight of the sandcastle.

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

'You haven't changed a bit Perkins.'

'So... cutting my funding, eh? Well, I've got a pair of mutant fists that say otherwise!'

"Jenny, your play date's here!"

"That's just the meds kicking in."

"It occurred to me that there's no rule against having mutant telekinetic powers and pepper spray."

"My mom and dad are still very sharp."

"We begin tonight with breaking news. LIFE has given a local teenager a rude awakening."

Truce?

Oh, The Putzing You'll Do

'Damned tourists.'

'It's probably a hormonal thing.'

"I can't make you look younger, but I can make you look like you've had a lot of expensive plastic surgery."

'And now the other leg!'

Boy, Interrupted.