Illegible Handwriting Decoder Gifts

"I can't decipher this CAPTCHA security code, doctor simmons, but since it looks like you writing maybe you can read it?"

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

Don't forget to read the small print.

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

'I know what you're thinking.'

'It says he put the 'Ram' in the 'Rama Lama Ding Dong'.'

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'It says I can't access Pharaoh's tablet unless I'm on his buddies list.'

'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'

"To prove I'm human, I check the box. It still won't let me in."

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

"You may enter, doctor, if you can read this prescription."

'I've gone from spanning the globe at lightening speed to struggling with some techie's accent over a bad connection.'

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

Ancient Egyptian Curser

"It says to sign, and then print my name... can I use the school printer?"

An archaeologist sees an ancient Egyptian entrance to a subway.

"I believe it translates to... have a nice day."

'I've never seen this symbol before. What could it mean?'

"A pharaoh who lived by the Nile...And was eaten by an old crocodile."

"It seems to be a grant application!"

"Sir, any pre-existing illnesses?" "Yes, brain damage from trying to read all the small print."

'I absolutely refuse to sign anything which requires a microscope and a stepladder to read it!'

'And this is the small print in your travel insurance...'

'We're all pretty much in agreement that this is what your doctor scribbled as your prescription.'

Marooned Optometrist

"Welcome to our intern program. I'm your instructor, Dr. David Robertson."

"I can't read this scribble. . . ! Just get the usual random boxes off the top shelf. . ."

"If we could decipher their language we'd have a clue to their intelligence levels."