Identical Twin Pillows

"I'm writing the book everyone has in them and my identical twin is doing the sequel!"

'Yes we're identical twins except that one of us is a nymphomaniac.'

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

"No, that was my twin brother. I was too chicken to cross the road."

'What's the plural of baby?'

man juggling career, home and children

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

'Actually both my kids are twins...'

Love chair

"Hello there...! I'm your hardworking GOP Congressional Representative. I'm running for re-election and I would appreciate your support..."

'Oh, boy - stereo!'

'Actually the twins are not hard to tell apart. When I put them down, the one that cries is Dennis.'

Twin brothers playing Monopoly, one is winning, one losing

'My chiropractor said that since I had the twins my posture has improved.'

'I don't like the look of yours...'

"Am I seeing double? You and your twin are the experts, why don't you two tell me!"

'I think you're mistaking me for my twin sister.'

'We really should ask the driver of that car for tips on coping with twins.'

"For the last time, he didn't steal your identity. He's your twin!"

"The one on the left is Mary-Kate, the one on the right is Ashely. Beware them both."

Hook couldn't believe he hadn't thought of inviting his brother, Captain Flyswat, before.

"Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with a nanny state."

'You've 'lost your brother' you say,... what does he look like?'

Twins

"Hey! You're those creepy twins from the glowing, the glinting, the shimmering, whatever... am I right?"

G.O.P. Parade

"No, copy and paste has nothing to do with you being twins."

"Being a twin is great. I always have a scapegoat."

"Mr. Hazlett is in conference right now. Would you care to see his evil twin?"

"It's not gas...it's sibling rivalry."

'Make it a quadruple.'