Twin Sister Pillows

Cruel twin, half wit twin and timeless fake-mirror gag.

"No, that was my twin brother. I was too chicken to cross the road."

Twins

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

Robot Parts $5

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Butterfly Woman

Larry's used art

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

The Busy Gardener

Domestic Superheroes!!

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Gender Equality

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Computer Room.

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."