Twin Pillows

'You may not believe this, but even though we're siamese twins, our personalities are quite different.'

"Am I seeing double? You and your twin are the experts, why don't you two tell me!"

Thomas Pynchon's Evil Twin

'Humphries from accounts seemed so familiar.'

"I'm writing the book everyone has in them and my identical twin is doing the sequel!"

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"I've never been able to tell those Snider twins apart."

I need plastic surgery on my face.

Skinny sour-faced twins scowling at each other.

'You've 'lost your brother' you say,... what does he look like?'

Two identical twins walk towards karate classes, one wearing '1st Dan' the second '2nd Dan'.

Hook couldn't believe he hadn't thought of inviting his brother, Captain Flyswat, before.

Twin brothers playing Monopoly, one is winning, one losing

I've scrubbed the interweb. Internet. And I can find no evidence I've got a long lost, twin sister. What did you search under? The obvious phrase: Wicked-tongue octogenarian with bodacious bod seeks twin sister with the same. Did get one very weird adult site. Earmuffs!

Rudy, how do you use that computer thing? The what? The thing that connects all the people together so you can waste all your time absorbed emailing and chatting and reading stupid gossip. The internet? Yes, dummy. I need to use it to see if I've got a long lost twin sister. Can you help? Sure. If you take back all the nasty things you've said about it. Impasse. Impasse. To be continued ...

"I don't know how to put it, but there's something iconically similar about us."

"Am I the smart one and you're the pretty one or is it the other way around?"

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Joined at the hipster.

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

"We have the exact same taste."

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

"Remember, she had twins, so I go in first, and then you follow about 3 minutes later."

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

Maternity ward: 'Oh boy - stereo!'

"No, that was my twin brother. I was too chicken to cross the road."

'What's the plural of baby?'

man juggling career, home and children

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

Twins

'Twiiiiiiiiins!!!!'

Love chair

Sloth traffic jam.

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."