Identical Twin Gifts

"I'm writing the book everyone has in them and my identical twin is doing the sequel!"

'Yes we're identical twins except that one of us is a nymphomaniac.'

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

"No, that was my twin brother. I was too chicken to cross the road."

'What's the plural of baby?'

man juggling career, home and children

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

'Actually both my kids are twins...'

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

"Hello there...! I'm your hardworking GOP Congressional Representative. I'm running for re-election and I would appreciate your support..."

Love chair

'Oh, boy - stereo!'

Twin brothers playing Monopoly, one is winning, one losing

'Actually the twins are not hard to tell apart. When I put them down, the one that cries is Dennis.'

'My chiropractor said that since I had the twins my posture has improved.'

'I think you're mistaking me for my twin sister.'

"Am I seeing double? You and your twin are the experts, why don't you two tell me!"

'I don't like the look of yours...'

'We really should ask the driver of that car for tips on coping with twins.'

Hook couldn't believe he hadn't thought of inviting his brother, Captain Flyswat, before.

"The one on the left is Mary-Kate, the one on the right is Ashely. Beware them both."

"For the last time, he didn't steal your identity. He's your twin!"

"Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with a nanny state."

"It's a binary star - that means we'll find twins."

"No, copy and paste has nothing to do with you being twins."

"Mr. Hazlett is in conference right now. Would you care to see his evil twin?"

"Being a twin is great. I always have a scapegoat."

Twins

G.O.P. Parade

"It's not gas...it's sibling rivalry."

'Make it a quadruple.'

'You've 'lost your brother' you say,... what does he look like?'