Identical Twin Humor Gifts

'I don't like the look of yours...'

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

Love chair

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

Twin brothers playing Monopoly, one is winning, one losing

'I think you're mistaking me for my twin sister.'

"Am I seeing double? You and your twin are the experts, why don't you two tell me!"

Hook couldn't believe he hadn't thought of inviting his brother, Captain Flyswat, before.

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'

'Mom says she has a souffle in the oven - Does that mean I'm going to have a baby brother?'

"You look good in that."

"I'm writing the book everyone has in them and my identical twin is doing the sequel!"

'You've 'lost your brother' you say,... what does he look like?'

"I knew you'd like this place."

"It's your work. Are you still sick or what?"

Trump's thoughts on 9/11

'Ordinarily no two legal problems are alike. However, in your case...'

"You remind me of someone. Oh, yeah, him"

Skinny sour-faced twins scowling at each other.

"Do you ever just stop and think about all the disgusting things there are to put in your mouth?"

'Please leave your message after the tone...'

Computamatch.

Rudy, how do you use that computer thing? The what? The thing that connects all the people together so you can waste all your time absorbed emailing and chatting and reading stupid gossip. The internet? Yes, dummy. I need to use it to see if I've got a long lost twin sister. Can you help? Sure. If you take back all the nasty things you've said about it. Impasse. Impasse. To be continued ...

Psst … How can you tell the twins apart? They smell identical!

'You may not believe this, but even though we're siamese twins, our personalities are quite different.'

Thomas Pynchon's Evil Twin

Two identical twins walk towards karate classes, one wearing '1st Dan' the second '2nd Dan'.

Women's Synchronized Peeing

"I don't know how to put it, but there's something iconically similar about us."

'Yes we're identical twins except that one of us is a nymphomaniac.'

Instant Copy Center

"Congratulations - you're twins!"

"My sister takes a bath every day - she's a mud wrestler."

Well.. is he your twin brother ... or not?