Sibling Humorist Gifts

'Mom says she has a souffle in the oven - Does that mean I'm going to have a baby brother?'

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

PET THEORIES

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

Bathroom Fairy

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

"And here's one I made up called 'Mama's Last Nerve.'"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

'A boy? Come on, Mom, you can do better than that!'

"No, William. This is your new little brother, Christopher. Not William 2.0."

'I think you're mistaking me for my twin sister.'

"Am I seeing double? You and your twin are the experts, why don't you two tell me!"

Sick Exhibitionist

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'

'good taste is timeless, Al.'

'No, she can not come out to play again.'

"I did my homework, but my little brother took it to his 'show and tell'."

'He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites.'

'What did Cane say to his brother?'

"Note cards, like a TV talk-show host! Now I can talk intelligently on any subject!"

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

"I knew you'd like this place."

"If I were your big sister, I'd show you how to act right!"

"Just be aware, once you go upright there's no going back."

When I'm a famous actress, you'll be jealous. Wrong. I can't wait to see you in the movies. It's nice that you can enjoy my glamorous success. Or�Enjoy watching you get punched out like the girls in all the action flicks. Great. Hollywood takes over where little brother leave off.

"Your essay on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your sister's"

Trump's thoughts on 9/11

"There's really a baby in there? Whatcha do...eat him?"

'Your brother sure ha some kind of weirdo creepy imagination.'

101 uses of a dead cat: ladder.

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'Please leave your message after the tone...'

'Here's the deal: I can't dig right now and can't trust other dogs... So, there's a carrot for you each time you dig out one of my bones...'