Icy Jokester Gifts

'My god, I wouldn't want to be a stand-up comedian in a place like this!'

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

"Not now, Oliver."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

Shaved Ice

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Cosmonaughty

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

Titanic iceberg auction

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

Seances of the future

The First Man to Ride the Moon

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

'If the Sun doesn't explode in five billion years, do you realize how foolish we'll look?'

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

Serious business