Icy Jokester T-Shirts

'My god, I wouldn't want to be a stand-up comedian in a place like this!'

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

"Not now, Oliver."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

Shaved Ice

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

Cosmonaughty

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

That isn't what prove you're not a robot means, Bob.

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

The first transatlantic communication.

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

Titanic iceberg auction

"Remember, the password is case sensitive."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

Moon's Portaloo.

Seances of the future

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

"Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupididy' and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein. Our colleague and I were going to debate, with me arguing the universe is finite and he's arguing that it's infinite. But he pulled out saying the debate organizers are biased against his position. He didn't believe they were simply advising folks to arrive early when they said "space is limited."

Serious business

Athen's Theater. "Oedipus Rex" didn't test well as a title, Sophocles. How would you feel about calling it "My Big Fat Greek Tragedy"?

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

The First Man to Ride the Moon