Ice Rink Patron Pillows

"The ice at the rink isn't smooth. I think the maintenance team slipped up."

Ice skater

'I know I'm still in the Juniors, but I already need a therapist.'

The Hockey World

Ice Skater

Yeah, I've been driving in circles for an hour looking for a place to park. Zamboni.

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

Kids playing ice hockey for a medal.

Goodenow & Bettman: We have a deal Bob! But do we have any fans left?

'The team we're playing tonight is good 'cause I heard they know how to turn and stop!'

Zenboni

'His wife is very supportive.'

"I've never been into the other team's end... what's it like?"

"Hells Angels, Zamboni Division"

'Now, lift and squeeze the diaphragm.' ... 'Sweet.'

The Puck Stops Here.

Ice skating

'Geez, Dad! You never scream your lungs out at the refs! Don't you love me?!'

Reach you goal! Financial Planners Inc. Quality Dentistry. Get you smile back! Anger Management Classes. Downtown clinic. Slipped on ice? Clark Law can get you cash$.

"What?!! I'm reducing friction on the ice."

'He's got one more minute alone in the penalty box with my mother.'

'Okay, but for future reference; We never grit the ice in here.'

Caveman Under the Hockey Ice

'Torville and Cow'.

His Other Shtick

'Zamboni 2': Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the ice.

"Prozzac"

Hold it! I dropped a contact lens.

The fight ends, the hockey players flee, and the curling team once again rules the ice rink.

The Stanley Cup comes home to Canada

The freezer broke at the hockey rink last night. By the end of the game there was seven feet of water! They must have taken out the first string and put in the subs!

Ice Skater

Eskimo fishing in ice rink

Penalty Box. Shouldn't there also be a "reward" box? I've been nice most of the game!

'Was a game played here last night?'