Ice Rink Gladiator Gifts

'Well, here's a news flash: Your front teeth got knocked out. So, How's the family?'

Rage.

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"I feel your pain."

Ice skater

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

American Football.

Punishment for the kicker.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

Football.

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

Football Blockers.

'I'm just your average suburban gladiator mum.'

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

'No exceptions, Caldwell! If you want to make this team, you've got to make it past my mother-in-law!'

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

Wal Max - Complaints Department

'Oh, great. Leonard's got quarterback on his jersey. No amount of bleach is going to get THAT out.'

"You'll get a lot of head injuries but, on the plus side, you won't remember any of them."

SNOW WARS: The fight-back

'They're herding you all over the field! Start playing defense...'

"Involuntary manslaughter. How about you?"

Skating.

'If you want to play in this league, Wilson, you've got to learn to play with pain!'

'Good news. We've decided to give you the game ball.'

Boxer with glasses.