Ice Rink Warrior Gifts

"Just so you know, despite the horrifying beating you're about to get, I'm actually a good hockey player."

Ice hockey player with testicles on his stick.

Ice skater

Hockey Season.

Ice Skater

Ice Fly-Fishing with Doug

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

Yeah, I've been driving in circles for an hour looking for a place to park. Zamboni.

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

Kids playing ice hockey for a medal.

'The team we're playing tonight is good 'cause I heard they know how to turn and stop!'

Zenboni

'His wife is very supportive.'

"I've never been into the other team's end... what's it like?"

"If you got us lost ... I am so eating you first."

'...And remember' It's not whether your dads win or lose the fight in the stands. It's how you play the game.'

Bored with retirement, the Great One tries crime.

"Hells Angels, Zamboni Division"

Ice skating

Reach you goal! Financial Planners Inc. Quality Dentistry. Get you smile back! Anger Management Classes. Downtown clinic. Slipped on ice? Clark Law can get you cash$.

The Puck Stops Here.

'Now, lift and squeeze the diaphragm.' ... 'Sweet.'

"I kid you not, he shot that duck right over the middle of the lake and said 'fetch'! Do you have any idea how cold that water is?!"

"What?!! I'm reducing friction on the ice."

Caveman Under the Hockey Ice

'He's got one more minute alone in the penalty box with my mother.'

'Torville and Cow'.

'The Pen Is Mightier...Still.'

"Just so you know, despite the horrifying beating you're about to receive, I'm actually a pretty good hockey player."

"Sometimes I think the captain doesn't appreciate the seriousness of military maneuvers."

'It sure is hot in the arena tonight!'

Hold it! I dropped a contact lens.

Mat Trick

Mum! I'm cold! - 'Put your jumper on then!' - 'I'm already wearing it!' - '' - 'Mum! I can't reach the thermostat!' - 'Oh, that's a shame, dear.' -

The fight ends, the hockey players flee, and the curling team once again rules the ice rink.