Ice Jester Pillows

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"No, Doris, not implants!"

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Drunk Barber

Yawning barristers in court

Bad Interview Technique

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'He started it!'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"We, the jury, find the defendant."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"I got probation."

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

Justice

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'