Ice Jester Pillows

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"No, Doris, not implants!"

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

Dog fetching clown shoes.

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"#notguilty."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Yawning barristers in court

Drunk Barber

Bad Interview Technique

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

'He started it!'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

Justice

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'