Ai Jester Pillows

'Artificial intelligence is overrated. We find most people prefer the user-friendly advantage of artificial stupidity.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

Dog walking Human.

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

Yawning barristers in court

Bad Interview Technique

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

King and Jester

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'He started it!'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

Justice