Ai Jester Pillows

'Artificial intelligence is overrated. We find most people prefer the user-friendly advantage of artificial stupidity.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

Dog walking Human.

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

"#notguilty."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Yawning barristers in court

Bad Interview Technique

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

King and Jester

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'He started it!'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"We, the jury, find the defendant."

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

Justice