Ibs Survivor Gifts

Fart, barf, cough.

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'You brought my slippers?... What kind of rescue dog are you?!'

'Time for your pills.'

Ted did have some concerns about the appearance of nepotism.

Emergency Pants

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

'Oh, that's just great. It's not bad enough I'm stranded here. Now I'm trapped in an invisible box.'

Tsunami Evac Route

"I'm starting up a concierge medicine practice. You in?"

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

B.O.H.I.C.A. Memorial

'He needs professional HELP!'

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

A man on a desert island has an inbox and outbox both filled with sand.

Desert island has bottle bank and paper bank. Castaway sees message in bottle float towards island.

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

'What luck!'

Tax grab.

"Now you can send it."

Before we can rescue you...you need a safety check.

"Mr. Crusoe, you have some heft overdue fines."

Stranded Techie Needs Batteries

'The hospital food was terrible, but the savings were substantial.'

Abandon all hope of Wifi ye who enter here

'Thank you for calling the IRS... Press one for laughter in the background, press two for crying in the background.'

'Have you got a sand wedge?'

"I'm afraid there's just so far you can go with street smarts."

Welcome centre

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

"I hope this isn't another one of your experiments in limited government."

'What luck. It's Kosher.'