Hypocritical Fan Enthusiast Gifts

The vampire...at the game

Bowled over again!

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"Check it out! The big Comic-Con starts this week!"

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

Currently Boston

It was a pretty vicious attack. He's lost a lot of candy.

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

'I don't understand. . . My escape trick has always worked!'

Franz Kafka does stand-up...

Houdini's Dog

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

She's disappointed. Doctor Frankenstein's online dating profile simply says that he's a "body-builder."

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

Quizzo tonight! Win a tee shirt! Trivia is my middle name, but I have all the tee shirts I need. So, tell me something: Are there Quizzo groupies?

"Just how powerful of a fan did you put in your computer?"

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

A heat wave threatens an old woman.

"As fans we are smart enough to understand the game, but not smart enough to realize how unimportant it really is."

"Is really wet, here!"

Lester Hacks into an Abacus.

'So, Henry. Just exactly how 'controversial' was that call you made in tonight's game?'

'Hot Apple Pie' from a cash machine

"Rayna's been kidnapped! And its all my fault!"

"Every complaint should be seen as a learning opportunity, today you’re going to learn where to hide them."

If there's one thing I've learned, it's this: Never trust someone who tries to sell you nine life insurance policies.

What heppens when you tie a rope around an elephant's loins and sit a cowboy on its back. (Rodeo today).

"What is it about an unfavorable soccer outcome that makes me want to wreak immediate havoc in the streets?"

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'The school counselor says I have well-developed motor skills. Will you bring me a car?'

Pet bird on a lead.

The Puppet Poop