Hypocrisy Ponderers Gifts

"We had lots of calls from people wanting to get away during the fuel crisis..."

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

The Artist

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"What was I thinking?!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Sauce for the Goose

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

Optimist

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"I'm learning to live with existence."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

Ten Commandments

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

Schrödinger and his cat