Hypocrisy Critic Gifts

'So, it's OK for you to go on and on about nothing, but as soon as I open my mouth, I'm a yappy little dog.'

"I'm liberal and tolerant. Anyone who disagrees with me should be allowed to choose his or her way of death."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

An election candidate giving contradicting promises.

Politically Correct Greeting Cards: Totally Blank

The Life Challenged Zombies.

"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us."

"Psst! If you have any stock tips to pass on, I can probably lighten your sentence for insider trading."

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

This house believes that "No Platforming" is not an attack on free speech.

"And with the amazing scores of 99.95, may I present Roger and Milly Mallard!"

"What do the know!"

"I know you're angry at me - I'm angry at me, too!"

"Personally, I never take anything but aspirin."

'My country, right OR wrong' 'My country, right AND wrong!'

Blues Music in a Litigious World

'Tell me if this hurts.'

"It's really the black whale I hate, but I didn't want to appear racist."

Things are looking up!

"I can't believe it! You got so mad when I wanted a tattoo! You said I should never deface my body!"

"Did you send your editor the final pages of 'Organizing Your Life'?"

'You shouldn't call them 'perverts', it's considered offensive.'

Slug pellets used by animal campaigner

The muse for letters to the editor.

"Yes, but what happens if the ‘sniffling, sneezing coughing, aching, stuffy-head, fever, so-you-can-rest medicine’ makes me hallucinate?"

"I'm totally in favor of monogamy. For everyone else."

'I know this is unfair, Rossetti, but that's what makes it fun.'

'This 'reclaiming' of pejorative terms has gone too far.'

'Political correctness has gone mad!' 'You mean psychologically challenged.'

'You can forget work today...some reckless psychopath has dropped a banana skin.'

"I'm doing a paper on daylight as a trigger of politically incorrect language in men."

"In a few years the marketing gurus will decide that the word 'Christmas' is not good for marketing, so I started introducing myself as the ghost of the holidays future."