Hypochondria Sympathizer Pillows

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

Providing Healthcare For All

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

'I hope what I have isn't catching.'

"Your's may be a case of hypochondria so I'm going to refer you to an imaginary colleague."

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

"Apparently reading about cancer can give you cancer!"

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

Are you sure you're not holding your breath?

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

'I'm convinced I've got page 68 of my medical dictionary, doctor!'

Stay away from Pigs.

"I looked up your rash online. Have you recently been to one of the moons of Saturn? Or, it could just be poison ivy."

'The part of your brain you used to diagnose what is wrong with you is what is wrong with you.'

'There's nothing wrong with you that a couple placebos won't cure.'

"He was such a hypochondriac, he insisted on being buried next to a health professional."

"Trust me, Doc, it's quicker if I tell you what doesn't hurt."

'Oh my god... oh my god...'

"In my expert medical opinion, you are suffering from hypochondria."

Type A Flu.

"O.K. Which one of you worried well is the most worried?"

'Thos are a lot of symptoms, Mrs Gruber. I'm going to refer you to the book of world records.'

'Well, you are one lucky hypochondriac. There's a generic placebo for your condition.'

'It's only hypochondria, but it's a very virulent FORM of it.'

"You're in excellent health...until we can prove otherwise."

'I thought it might help if I listed my symptoms.'

Health MOTs will attract 'worried well'.

"The doctor says I have something called 'hypochondria'...and it's very hard to cure!"

"Your tests look normal, but that's what the disease wants us to think."

"I think I've got analysis paralysis."

"Just as I thought Brian... Cybercondria."

"Hypochondriac's Handbook. Where was I?"