Hypnotherapists T-Shirts

"This isn't what I had in mind. . ."

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

"You're completely screwed up."

"Trust me. Don't do it."

"My brother thinks he's a chicken... He's crazy."

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

"You shouldn't have hypnotised him"

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

Derren Brown: Pushed to the Edge

Free-Floating Anxiety

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

"Talk to me. You have wounds. I have salt."

Hypnotoon

"...but this is the stuff of dreams Mr Whitley! Dreams."

"There's nothing wrong with her. With e-mail, texting and tweeting, she just hasn't needed to learn to talk."

"Last night I dreamed I caught my tail."

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'