Hyperactive Humorist Gifts

"I'm glad you like this new brand of coffee, Joni. The label said "fast-acting," but who knows what that means!"

Emergency Hipster Beard

"The Eggsorcist"

Atomic Bear: Part 21

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

The world's first exploding cricket box...

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Time management office worker

Alcoholics Anonymous - 'Nowadays every bottle seems to say 'drink me'.'

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

Gangsta wrap.

Portrait sweating above a fireplace

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

"So, tell me what happened after this Schrodinger put you in this box..."

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"I'd like an aisle seat, please."

White Flight. Beautification. Gentrification. Plain Old Rich.

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

Hipster Police Department

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

'This is getting to be too much for me. I'm thinking of becoming a middlebrow.'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

"A spectre is haunting Europe, the spectre of hipsterism."

'You shouldn't have forgotten the flag!'

"Could you put me 'on hold' Mom? I could use a hug."