Hygiene Simplifier Gifts

'I'm going to grow a beard when I get older.'

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

Heloise's Helpful Hints for Homebound

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

'Any questions?'

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

Boss: '...Let's not forget who our customers are!' (It turns out they just have one left).

"You're right! It is much easier to explain it this way!"

DOH should create a simple prevalence formula that works.

Interior Un-Decorator: We Help You Downsize!

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

Hand Sanitizer: Please Be Considerate To Your Fellow Evolvers

'Urgh!. . . That's disgusting.'

"What the...some jerk licked the salt off all these pretzels."

'Say, when did you last cut your toenails?'

"Spread the gospel, not germs. Wash your hands!"

Noah calls out: 'Hey, could we have some volunteers to stay and help clean up?'

"Profit, loss, why must you all make everything so complicated?"

'Since you're new here, let me give you a tip: Never, EVER, look under the chairs!'

Interactive Underwear

Shower before entering heaven.

Kali using underarm deoderant spray.

Miscommunication

'Could you dumb it down a little?'

Washing Face

''The wheels on the bus go round and round'? - THIS is your physics homework?'

'We need to agree a target date for identifying the targets in our target reduction strategy.'

Somebody simplified our marketing plan.

'Can I have mine straight onto the plate and not on a bed of something?'

'While your resume is impressive, Mr. Dornmont, we... um... feel your qualifications don't match our needs here...'

"I'll just need to reset this, then come back for your dessert order."

My Marie Kondo Drawer

Masters of Sameness