Hygiene Humorist Pillows

"Wait – did you wash your hands?"

'You don't trust me, do you?'

"So that's their survival technique. They was their hands!"

'There's an inspector here from the Board of Health who would like to see the chicken soup.'

'Dude. Seriously? Tell me you didn't put your tongue on that thing.'

Fresh Squeezed Sanitizer

"What do you say we get out of here and go someplace less contagious?"

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

'If they didn't want us around, how come they keep putting food out for us?"

Tear off carpet.

Hand dryer instructions

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

"Mum how do you wash your tongue?"

'Tell me the truth, Norm. Do I have bad breath?'

Jeff woke up with a disgusting film on his teeth.

Team medic spraying deodorant

"I love you, Ethan, bit I floss alone."

'Boss, we've got a quality problem. I know that because I just shook hands with some of our customers...'

Ceiling Paint stacked next to Deodorant

Scene of man brushing his teeth with electric tooth brush gone wrong.

'Sure, we can keep the floors clean. Well just use the stuff we bleach the flour with.'

A Reasonable Time for Concern

Pig in sty uses hand sanitizer

"Your shirt's on inside out."

"I took 30 showers today, so I'm good for the month."

"What do I suggest for tight glutes? For best results, squeeze from the bottom."

Please Wash Feet Before Returning To Work

Toothbrush Pens

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

"I don't think it's sanitary to drink from the same footprint."

"Delicious Special Seasoning? Oh... That's probably just the cook's dandruff."

Attempted First Degree Edgar

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

"I asked mom to bring back krill for me and foot deodorizer for you."

'A Soused Child Dreads Water.'