Hygiene Conscious Gifts

'Cor, I had a right dickie belly last night Alf.'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

"Think of it as a big puddle."

The Cougher

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"Humans are strange."

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

Loofah Lady

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Hand sanitizer

"Will these hands ne'er be clean?"

'He takes bathtime seriously.'

Wash your hands

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

"No Hand Sanitiser"

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

"Relax, Dad... I'll put your toothbrush away when I'm done. I always do."

"Wash your hands after handling these, Miss Utley -- They're toxic securities."

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.