Hygiene Conscious Gifts

"That's a bidet, not a drinking fountain!!"

'Cor, I had a right dickie belly last night Alf.'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Think of it as a big puddle."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

The Cougher

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Loofah Lady

"Humans are strange."

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Hand sanitizer

"Will these hands ne'er be clean?"

'He takes bathtime seriously.'

"No Hand Sanitiser"

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

Wash your hands

Zoo. It's wednesday again --- time to wash the camels. I hate "hump" day. (Published originally on July 20, 2005).

You have the worst spring breath.

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

"Relax, Dad... I'll put your toothbrush away when I'm done. I always do."

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.