Husband Wrangler Gifts

"I need a smaller brush-head to get between his feet and the armchair."

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

She - Interpreter - He.

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

High Riders of the Old West

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Dammit Harold, you know I hate that mask!"

Sulk Shows

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"It's exhausting trying to keep him from throwing away perfectly good sticks."

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

"Rumour has it that you're after my job."

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

'OK...now what?'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

'Did you want me, boss?'

'I told you he had a temper.'

"My seven-year-old is a prince, but my forty-seven-year-old is a pain in the ass."

Diplomacy

'It's always about you isn't it, George? Wouldn't you like to hear about the terrible day I've had for a change?'

'Would you care to hold until Mr. Jyles is better adjusted.'

'Whenever he feels under attack, he calls for backup.'

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

"He's fluent in 24 computer languages and never says a bloody word to me."

"You always insist on having the last word!" "Sorry!"

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

"It's time to bring in the wax begonias and your mother."

"This'll test you - she just scraped your car while parking."

"You knew I was straight when you married me."