Hungry Investor Gifts

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

'You simply put up a minimum of $2,500. If the price of fish goes up, your investment goes up. If the price of the fish goes down, your investment goes down.'

"Okay, it if makes you feel better...yes, I have stock in a banana company."

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

Animal worries.

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

Frank and Ernest Venture Capital. We need seed money.

I have a dream.

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.

Locally Grown Stocks, Farm Fresh CDs, Free Range Annuities.

"You should consider buying."

"I crunched the numbers until cautiously opportunistic."

'Harley manages our most aggressive growth fund.'

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

"We have had some bumps and bruises on the stock market."

'After I bought those stocks of Chinese companies, I felt greedy again in an hour.'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

'You shouldn't put all your cash into one stock... you need to diversify. Try buying beef, vegetable and chicken stock...'

'Finzter, our newest investment adviser, believes that money can make you happy.'

I know it sounds crazy, but whenever I'm hungry, I get a ringing in my ears. Pavlov's Dog" The Later Years.

At The Clown Bank.

'Look on the bright side - Our investments with Bernie Madoff must REALLY be paying off by now!'

'I don't want your wallet. I want venture capital.'

'One look at you and I thought 'footsie world stock fund.''

"We need a brownfield site."

Low-Rent Stockholders